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LIAR EXTRA: IS MARLON BRANDO
DEAD?
Screen legend Marlon
Brando has failed to move or breath for several days, but doctors at Los
Angeles hospital are unable to confirm if the actor is alive or dead.
Brando’s lawyer told reporters “Marlon hasn’t twitched a muscle for over
sixty years, particularly during his screen performances, so it is too
early to be certain if he has died. If he produces any kind of physical
movement in the next 24 hours, we will alert the media immediately.”
Famous for his role
in On the Waterfront, the 80 year old actor is regarded as one of
the most stationary performers of the post-war period. He has stayed
completely motionless in more than 40 films, including Apocalypse Now,
and has won two best actor Oscars. He is perhaps best known for his
stillness as mafia leader Don Corleone in the 1972 classic The
Godfather. Winchester
ITV SIGN
PENGUINS FOR SITCOM
Frank Skinner's sitcom has been recommissioned by
ITV, despite some poor ratings towards the end of its first run.
Whilst Skinner will still be writing the scripts, the entire
cast has been fired and replaced by penguins. ITV's
Director of Programmes, Nigel Sweetpickle told The Liar:
"The penguins have signed an exclusive five-year deal. It's a
major coup for us!” ITV are reported to be developing several
other formats for the penguins, including a brand new gameshow
entitled “Throw Me A Fish!” and a two part mini-series called
“You Are The Wind Beneath My Wings”. Crayfish
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US WOMAN STALKED BBC WEATHERMAN FISH
A US woman accused of stalking BBC weatherman Michael
Fish has written a letter of apology to the broadcaster, her lawyer said
today. Trailer park pin-up Kathy Clark, 52, wrote to Fish apologising
for any "distress" she may have caused.
Ms Clark has pleaded not guilty to making sexual threats and stalking
the weatherman, and is being held on £750,000 bail. The letter, released
by her lawyer, said she was “infatuated” with Fish. "I was a confused
young woman, deeply in love with a BBC weatherman, and I do not have
rational explanations for my actions," she wrote. Fish had called in police, alleging he had been receiving
erotic letters, phone calls, and “soiled underwear” through the post. Ms
Clark is being held in custody and could receive a death sentence if
convicted. HG Creamcheese
Boring Big Brother Brunette Bombshell Becki Bares Boobs
Big Brother's latest contestant Becki has
lifted up her T-Shirt and shown off her breasts. A couple of other
things have happened in the Big Brother house this week, but frankly
they're not as interesting as this, so we won't bother to mention them
if that's OK with you. Grimble
UNLUCKY LOOK-ALIKE
Professional David Beckham look-alike Derek Smith
is "livid" at the England captain's sudden lack of form. "My work as a
Beckham look-alike has completely dried up!" he told The Liar in
London this week. Craddock
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